No: 33; variant: 33B
- KEMPY KAYE is a wooing gane,
Far ayont the sea,
And there he met wi auld Goling,
His gudefather to be, be,
His gudefather to be.
- 'Whar are ye gaun, O Kempy Kaye,
Whar are ye gaun sae sune?'
'O I am gaun to court a wife,
And think na ye that's a weel dune?'
- 'An ye be gaun to court a wife,
As ye do tell to me,
'Tis ye sall hae my Fusome Fug,
Your ae wife for to be.'
- Whan auld Goling cam to the house,
He lookit thro a hole,
And there he saw the dirty drab
Just whisking oure the coal.
- 'Rise up, rise up my Fusome Fug,
And mak your foul face clean,
For the brawest wooer that ere ye saw
Is come develling doun the green.'
- Up then rose the Fusome Fug,
To mak her foul face clean;
And aye she cursed her mither
She had na water in.
- She rampit out, and she rampit in,
She rampit but and ben;
The tittles and tattles that hang frae her tail
Wad muck an acre o land.
- She had a neis upon her face
Was like an auld pat-fit;
Atween her neis bot an her mou
Was inch thick deep wi dirt.
- She had twa een intil her head
War like twa-rotten plums;
The heavy brows hung doun her face,
And O I vow she glooms!
- He gied to her a braw silk napkin,
Was made o' an auld horse-brat:
'I ne'er wore a silk napkin a' my life,
But weel I wat Ise wear that.'
- He gied to her a braw gowd ring,
Was made frae an auld brass pan:
'I neer wore a gowd ring in a' my life,
But now I wat Ise wear ane.'
- Whan thir twa lovers had met thegither,
O kissing to get their fill,
The slaver that hang atween their twa gabs
Wad hae tetherd a ten year auld bill.